Here are the 5 most important adult dating do’s and don’ts
Adult dating, especially on sex apps, is inherently tricky. Any time you try to do something casual, you always run the risk of feelings getting involved. Whether you like it or not – unless you’re a sociopath – you have feelings and sex usually makes you feel those feelings.
There are a couple of things you must keep in mind to prevent yourself from becoming a crazy side dude/chick or self-destructing. Here’s a quick crash course in what to do and what not to do when adult dating:
• Do: Keep it cool and casual
The key to keeping things from getting out of hand emotionally, is to keep yourself chill.
You have to go into casual dating knowing that you can’t expect anything other than something cool and casual. Make this your slogan. Put it on a t-shirt. Repeat it while staring at yourself in the mirror after your morning self-affirmations.
Keep things cool and casual. Keep your expectations low. Do these things and you won’t be disappointed.
• Do: put yourself first
Everything is cool and casual until it isn’t. And once your fling is no longer cool and casual – even if it’s you who’s lost your cool and casual vibes and not the other person – get out.
You’re the most important thing in your life. That sounds selfish but it’s true. So why would you need to stress out and lose years off your life over something that isn’t cool and casual?
• Don’t: put yourself first in bed
Though when it comes to the bedroom, you shouldn’t be the one cumming first. You need to make sure that you’re getting your partner off too, because – though things might still be casual – that’s not cool.
Sex should be something that is a give and take thing. You should feel like you’re giving 60% to your partner’s 40% and they should feel the same way… that way everything cool and casual.
What isn’t cool and casual is when one person doesn’t cum. If they can’t get there because of too much whiskey or they’re not super comfy with you yet (orgasms are very cerebral in this way for women) that’s fine! But if the reason their not cumming is because you’ve rolled over and gone to sleep, then you suck (or maybe you’re not sucking enough, if you feel me).
• Don’t fuck their friends
Know what’s not cool and casual? Knowingly fucking your partner’s friends and destroying friendships with jealousy and recklessness.
It’s not cool to homie hop and it’s really not cool to be fucking friends. If you want to keep the drama out of your life, then you need to dip your stick in different friend groups.
• Don’t: ignore legit feelings
Okay, so your cool and casual thing has resulted in feelings. Don’t ignore those feels, my guy! You need to decide what you want to do with those feelings. Decide if there the type of feelings you should act on or the kind you should run away from.
Ignoring your feelings and choosing flight over fighting for them is just as bad as pretending like you don’t have any. So unless you’re a sociopath who doesn’t have to worry about feelings, get in touch with yours.